Maple Leaf Chips

- jim Young 20190321

“Kale is a superfood and its special power is tasting bad.” - Jim Gaffigan

“Grow some kale,” they said.

“It will be fun,” they said.

I guess they were right because it kinda was fun growing the kale. At least it was easy. And when it comes to gardening, easy = fun as far as I’m concerned.

The kale that year was our best crop.

The only problem was, what do we do with it? As it turns out neither My Shirley nor I are particularly fond of kale so we gave most of it away to our friends and neighbours.

Be we did give it an honest shot first.

Knowing my love of potato chips and other assorted junk food, a friend of mine sent me Gwyneth Paltrow’s Recipe for Kale Chips. According to both Barry and Paltrow, Kale Chips are “as satisfying as potato chips”.

Gwynnth Paltrow's Kale Chip Recipe

I decided to give it a try and I quickly discovered 2 things:

1) Kale Chips suck.
2) Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot.

(Barry is not an idiot - he was just misinformed.)

"Bake them for 25 minutes," Paltrow said. In 10 minutes the Kale Chips were so crispy there was almost nothing left of them.

I have to admit the olive oil and the salt on them was quite tasty as was the garlic which I added on my own.

However I think I could have just as easily applied the salt, olive oil and garlic to a piece of paper.

I’m going to give it another go though. But I think I will substitute the kale for "birch leaves" and "maple leaves" to make some “Birch Leaf Chips” and “Maple Leaf Chips”.

Plenty of ingredients for my new recipes on these trees.
Why birch and maple?

The birch leaf, because there is at least medicinal value in the birch tree and the maple leaf,  because - Hey! - I'm Canadian.

Maybe even a dash of Maple Syrup on them would add to the taste.

If either of them work I have lots of trees and I won't have to plant Kale in my garden this year.

I wonder if the coloured Autumn Leaves will have an even better, perhaps more mature taste. That would be a bonus because then I wouldn't have to climb the tree to get the leaves to bake. I could just walk around the yard and pick them up.

And if neither of those taste any better - I'll try one more leaf. A leaf from my Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.

Because if I'm going to eat shit anyway - it should at least come from my bathroom.

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