Published In The Great North Arrow, February 1, 2025: What Is Love?
What Is Love?
- jim young
Happy Valentine’s Day to the lighting bolt I had been waiting all my life for - My Shirley.
“I thought Love was only true in fairy tales…” Neil Diamond
It's just that "I'm A Believer" so perfectly described my Love life as a teen.
Everyone had girlfriends - except for me. And, being the romantic I have always been, I so desperately wanted to be in Love. Sure there were girls that I dated. And they were all very nice. But I was looking for that lightning bolt that was going to knock me off my feet.
We can no more “choose to Love” than we can “choose NOT to Love”. For as Kahil Gibran wrote, “Think not you can guide the course of Love. For Love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course.”
This was the sixties and it shouldn't have been that difficult to find a true Love. Because the sixties were all about Love. Love was in the air. Love was all around. As the Beatles sang, it was “Love - Love - Love - All you need is Love - Love, Love is all you need.”
I just wanted in on it. And I guess I was really. I just didn’t know it. Because Love is more than just being “in Love” with that special someone. There are so many kinds of Love.
I had parents that Loved me and I Loved them in return. The Love they gave me was their guidance, patience and understanding. The Love I offered in return was my obedience (mostly) and my willingness to do them proud – whatever their perception (and/or my perception) of that was.
“God so Loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.” (John 3:16) And a parent’s Love isn’t so different. Parents have children and try to mold them in their own image. That’s not as bad as it sounds. In fact – it’s about the best you can expect from your parents whether or not you ever live up to their expectations.
I had sisters who Loved me and I Loved them in return. I adored my older sisters and my younger sisters adored me. The Love my older sisters returned to me was likewise the same kind of Love that I passed onto my younger sisters. “Will the circle be unbroken…” (Ada Ruth Habershon)
And then there was Punky. And Rinty and Pugsy and Yawn and Margaret and Alice and Leon and Carly and many more. They were my pets.
Dogs, cats, birds and rats,
Racoons and mice - they were all so nice.
Oh! How I cried when each one died…
I think the Love of a pet is one of the most intimate experiences anyone can ever encounter. And the unconditional Love your pet returns to you is the greatest Love anyone could ever be fortunate enough to receive; unparalleled even by the Love of your parents, siblings and mate. There simply are no limits, no conditions. Perhaps the only true undying Love.
And then there were my friends. Buzz – from public school and the gang from High School most of whom I never see anymore, but the Love we shared was a bond that we will carry to our graves. “Should Auld Acquaintance be forgot…” (Robert Burns)
There are people that come into your life for a limited time only and your Love for them is nothing more than directly proportional to the brief time they are in your life. These Loves are not so much important as they are just fillers between your greater Loves. Yet they are loves that will linger fondly in your memory forever.
“And then I saw her face…” - the proverbial lightning bolt struck. When I was least expecting it, Love found me worthy. I discovered my soul mate, my best friend and my Lover all in one person. The one kind of Love that had been alluding me all my life was finally within my grasp. And I became a believer.
“and in the end – the Love you take is equal to the Love you make.” (Lennon-McCartney)
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| “Think not you can guide the course of Love. For Love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course.” - Kahil Gibran |
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