We’re Quarantined, Ba-Ba-Ba

- jim Young 20200327

“Good times never seemed so good…” Neil Diamond

It feels wrong, when someone is doing something “nice”, to be thinking, “Is that ALL you can do? Is that really the best you’ve got?

Yet that’s exactly how I feel about Neil Diamond’s feeble attempt to rework "Sweet Caroline" and release it to help “boost people’s spirits” during the Covid-19 pandemic.

Mind you, I’m the guy that cringed when Elton John rewrote "Candle In The Wind" for Princess Diana. 

Originally, having penned “Candle In The Wind” for Marilynn Monroe, it just seemed to me to be a disservice to both ladies to now take it, change the words and dedicate it to Princess Diana - just because she died. 

In Elton John’s defense, the tragic death of a good friend is not likely to be conducive to put one in an inspirational frame of mind for song writing. So I’ll give him credit for changing the entire lyrics (except for part of the chorus) in Diana’s honour.

Elton John may have changed the lyrics but he didn’t totally ruin the song in doing so. Both versions of “Candle In The Wind” are masterpieces in their own right.

Neil Diamond, on the other hand, changed just ONE line in "Sweet Caroline" and in doing so, destroyed the essence of an otherwise very beautiful song.

The line “hands washing hands, don’t touch me, I won’t touch you” is totally out of context with the rest of the lyrics. It’s not even funny - it’s just silly. 

Just as I allowed Elton John some leniency for his grieving, I suppose I should also make allowances for Neil Diamond who was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.

Parkinson’s didn’t stop Michael J. Fox, however. Fox who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease at the age of 29 continued his career in TV and Movies and even wrote 3 very inspirational books along the way.

I don’t know - maybe it’s different for Neil Diamond. I don’t know what his circumstances are, but you would think, at the very least, he could have one of his “people” ghost write something for him.

Personally I think changing such a beautiful song as “Sweet Caroline” to a coronavirus song is sacrilege at best anyway, but if you’re going to destroy it, at least complete it.

So this is for you Neil, as a thank you for all the pleasure you’ve given me from all the great songs you’ve written. From me to you here’s some new lyrics for “Sweet Caroline”. Something that I hope you can use to help “boost people’s spirits” during the Covid-19 pandemic.

We’re Quarantined
- music by Neil Diamond, new lyrics by jim Young

Where it began, it doesn't really matter,
It only matters that it's here
All over the world,
Spreading person to person
It soon became very clear
Hands, washing hands
Six feet apart, it's just a start! I won't touch you.

Chorus
We're quarantined, (Ba-Ba-Ba)
Sacrificing for the rest
I've been confined
But I believe it's for the best

And now I
Have hope for the world and I can see the future
We'll stick it out and see it through
And when it's done
Getting back to normal
It'll be tough, but we'll get through.
Hands, washing hands
Six feet apart, it's just a start! I won't touch you.

Chorus
We're quarantined, (Ba-Ba-Ba)
Sacrificing for the rest
I've been confined
But I believe it's for the best
We're quarantined.

I hope Neil will forgive me if I don’t ever sing along to this new version though. I prefer to continue to do my “Ba-Ba Baing” to one of the original versions more like this one. 

- 30 -


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