Published in The Great North Arrow, September 1, 2023: Names, Names, Names (Second Names)

Part 2 of a 3 part series on Names

- jim Young

“Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.” - Terry Pratchett

Last time, in my column in the Great North Arrow (August 1, Issue 14, Volume 10) I wrote about first names. Today’s topic is about second names. Or is it really your first name in disguise?

First names are complicated enough, but then there’s the issue of second names. Second names rarely get abbreviated like first names do, unless the second name becomes the first name.

A coworker of mine was known as Rob which of course was short for his given name of Robert. But Robert wasn’t even his first name, it was his second name. Rob’s parents had named him John Robert but from the beginning began calling him “Rob”. What is the point of that?

When asked his first name, Rob usually responded with “Rob”. But when asked his second name, Rob would then have to explain that “Rob (or more correctly Robert)” was really his second name and “John” was his first name. In actuality, for all intents and purposes, Rob really had two first names and no second name at all.

When you think about it, what is the point of a second name at all except for your mother to use to make it very clear that she is angry with you. “JAMES,” regardless of the tone or volume that accompanied it, was never as powerful as “JAMES GORDON!” That was an indication that I needed to stuff a comic book into the back of my pants to dull the impending punishment I was about to receive.

When my mother got to “JAMES GORDON YOUNG!” I knew I needed a lawyer. 

In the days of old, a middle name was sometimes used to honour family ancestors and other family members. The oldest boy might be given his father’s name as his first name and his mother’s maiden name as his second name thereby ensuring both sides of the family were represented. The second child might inherit a grandfather’s first name followed by their grandmother’s maiden name as a second name and so on. If you were the last child in a large family you could end up with the name of the black sheep in the family that no one really liked, simply because your parents were running out of names.

And if your parents were planning to have only 1 or 2 children you might expect to be given 3 or 4 middle names to ensure no family members were left with hurt feelings.

The only other justification that I have heard for a middle name, is to help distinguish between 2 people with similar names. 

Italian families are notorious for picking names like Tony, Johnny and Frankie for their boys. (I mean no disrespect to the Italian community, but it’s true.) As Italian families were traditionally large, a second name helped to clarify within the family, who was who. One boy might be named “Tony Johnny” while his cousin was named “Tony Francis”. 

Of course as explained in Part I of this article the first names on their birth certificates were also likely registered as “Anthony”. I wonder why their middle names weren’t likewise abbreviated in their day-to-day usage to have them called “Tony John” and “Tony Frank”?

Here’s a good example of the confusion that can be caused when 2 people have the same names even when they aren’t related. Pahl Bakker was a coworker of mine. When I asked Pahl why his name wasn’t spelled with a “u” which was a more traditional spelling of “Paul”, he explained that his given name at birth actually was “Paul”. 

As a side note here, I like the name Paul. There’s no abbreviating Paul. What are you going to do? Call your son “Pa”? The feminine form of Paul is the same. It’s just “Paula”. The only exception would be if either Paul or Paula were to identify as the opposite sex and then they would just have to trade an “a” in their names.

But to get back to my story, in addition to my co-worker, there was another Paul Edward Bakker of no relation in town. Coincidentally the other Paul Edward Bakker’s SIN number was very similar to my coworker’s SIN number. Unfortunately, however, the other Paul Bakker was not as conscientious about paying his bills as was my coworker.

The result was my coworker often faced issues with his credit history every time he applied for a loan or mortgage. Over time it became annoying to say the least. When Paul approached a lawyer about this dilemma, his attorney advised the simplest and least expensive method to correct this issue was for “Paul” to legally change the spelling of his name and he became henceforth known as “Pahl”. Problem solved.

And this is a great segue into the topic of the sometimes unusual spelling of names which will be the topic of Part III for my column next time.

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