Published In The Great North Arrow, May 2021: Blood Clots or Not?

 - jim Young

“The biggest risk is not taking any risk.” - Mark Zuckerberg

Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor nor have I ever played one on TV. My advice here is based solely on facts I may have misinterpreted, misunderstood, misconstrued and misappropriated from the internet just like 90% of the misinformed posts you read from the “medical experts” that have graduated from the University of Facebook.

Today’s lesson specifically addresses the topic of the possibility of developing blood clots from the AstraZenca and J&J Covid-19 vaccinations.

Why is there risk of blood clots from them and NOT Moderna and Pfizer vaccines? Simply put, the latter two companies use a different technology during the manufacture of their vaccines. 

Dr. Vivek Cherian, a real doctor from Baltimore was quoted as saying “It’s safe to say there’s virtually no risk in individuals who received mRNA-based (vaccines), but we don’t really have that information yet.”

Wait! What? “Virtually, no risk?” “We don’t really have that information yet?” Does that mean there still is a possibility of getting blood clots from them too? Never mind. It’s not important because the chances of getting a blood clot from any of them is so low it’s almost a moot point.

There is however, a risk of developing something with every vaccine, every prescription and every non-prescription drug you take. And I’m not just talking about recreational drugs either. 

There is risk when just taking an Aspirin to rid yourself of that self-induced headache you have from having a little too much fun yesterday. You didn’t worry about that did you?

Hell, there was even a risk in consuming the alcohol you drank last night that brought about the need for today’s Aspirin in the first place. Did you think about “risk” then?

There is risk in everything you do from getting out of bed in the morning to driving your car, with or without a seatbelt. There are all kinds of risks from going on vacation, but do those risks immobilize you? If so, you’re better off to just stay in bed. But, oops! There’s a risk to even just staying in bed too much. You know what that risk is? Staying in bed too much runs a risk of developing blood clots.

See the irony here? 

Here’s the breakdown of just a few things that run the risk of developing blood clots.

AstraZenca Vaccine

4 cases in 1 million. 

I don't have the exact numbers but I think the J&J vaccine is less.

Birth Control Pill

500 - 1,200 cases in 1 million.

LADIES: I am not suggesting you should quit taking the pill. Not taking the pill runs a much higher risk of developing another kind of “clot” that will be with you for the next twenty years or so.

GENTLEMEN:  If you've been getting your kicks by dropping birth control pills like you dropped acid in the 60s, STOP that NOW! And by the way, you’re just weird.

Smoking

1,763 cases in 1 million. 

What’s that you say? You’ve been smoking since you were 16 and you’ve never developed a blood clot? Good for you! That just means you’ve dodged a lot of bullets from blood clots to cancer. You’re like the guy that claims, “I’ve never worn a mask and I didn’t get Covid-19”. 

Getting Covid

165,000 cases in 1 million. 

The bottom line is, which sounds better? A 4 in a million shot of developing a blood clot by getting the vaccine or a 165,000 in a million shot by not getting the vaccine. Your choice.

But do you know what else causes blood clots?

Obesity - hey I'm not judging here.

Trans fats, saturated fats, fatty meats, sugar. You know - all the good stuff we like to eat.

Cancer. Some cancers also cause blood clots although that's kind of a stupid argument here since no one wants cancer in the first place. It's not like it's a big juicy steak!

Pain killers, Aspirin, Ibuprofen can all cause blood clots.

Eggs Don’t actually cause blood clots but they “may conspire” with your “gut bacteria” to cause blood clots. So if you're eating eggs - don't let them near your "gut bacteria".

But here's some GOOD news.

If you want to reduce your chances of developing blood clots take Aspirin and Ibuprofen. I know, I know, I told you earlier they can also cause blood clots. But they can reduce them too. I think. What the hell do I know? I'm just reporting what Google is telling me.

Vitamin D can help reduce blood clots too, so here's what you need to do. A few days before and after you get the vaccine, eat lots of these foods that are rich in Vitamin D.

Salmon. But is salmon at risk for mercury poisoning like Tuna? Is it Dolphin-friendly?

Cod Liver Oil. Just pinch your nose like your mom used to do and take your medicine with a "spoonful of sugar" while fantasizing about Mary Poppins.

Swordfish. Make certain you don't trip and stab yourself. Stabbing yourself with long, pointy objects can be just as detrimental to your health as developing blood clots.

Pork. Put pork on your fork to fight your clots lots.

Oysters. I wonder who the first person was that pried open an oyster and thought “Hmmm. That big piece of snot looks delicious.” Never mind. As an added benefit, eating oysters will help you with your fantasy of Mary Poppins when you’re taking your cod liver oil.

Mushrooms. Make sure you know the difference between edible mushrooms and poisonous mushrooms. I've often wondered “Do you think the part time student that stocks the produce department shelves at your grocery store, for minimum wage, knows or even cares what the difference is?”

Beef Liver. Yeah, like eating the organ whose sole purpose is to trap all the poisons in your body is gonna be a healthy choice.

Eggs. Yep. Just like the Aspirin/Ibuprofen paradox, eggs are also high in Vitamin D. But you gotta remember to keep them away from your “gut bacteria” so they don't “conspire” against you.

Milk. The website I got this information from didn't specify if you could drink milk in the form of a White Russian, Brandy Alexander or Rum EggNog. But it didn't say you couldn't either. So have at it. Be forewarned however, that drinking too much milk this way may increase your need for Aspirin or Ibuprofen and apparently, the jury is still out on whether or not that will help with your blood clot dilemma.

Fortified Cereals. You can increase your Vitamin D intake further by eating your fortified cereal with “milk”. But do you really want to waste your Brandy Alexander on your cereal?

I am not really trying to make fun of people’s concerns about blood clots. It's a very real dilemma that we are all faced with. But do you think that just maybe, the only reason the very low risk of developing blood clots from some of these vaccines has even become an issue is because the anti vaxxers are making a big deal of it?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you should have the vaccine if you have legitimate reasons to be opposed to vaccines. However, you’ll have a hard time convincing me that your reasons are due to the “safety” concerns of vaccines. 

Doesn’t it seem more likely that the drug companies are responding with extreme caution for the same reason as they always do when all eyes are on them? They know the possibility of blood clots is miniscule. Their concern has more to do with publicity and the possibility of lawsuits.

Many of you may already be on medications that you take every day. Have you ever read the information sheets that accompany them with very small, fine print? DON’T. 

You won’t be afraid of dying any more. You’ll just be afraid of living.

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